How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone: Tips for Letting Go and Moving On

Obsessing over someone can have a profound impact on mental and emotional health. The constant thoughts and attention-seeking behaviours are often draining and can prevent individuals from moving on. Fortunately, it is possible to break free from this cycle of obsession and find emotional freedom and peace. This article explores how to stop obsessing over someone by offering practical tips for letting go and moving on.

Understanding Obsession

Before diving into how to stop obsessing over someone, it is essential to understand the symptoms and root causes of obsession. 

Obsession is an unhealthy fixation on someone. This can be a friend, family member, celebrity, or a romantic interest. It commonly involves thinking about them constantly, checking up on them frequently, idealizing who they are, overanalyzing past interactions, etc.

This behaviour often stems from unmet emotional needs, unresolved feelings, insecurity, or a fear of abandonment. For example, if the object of affection makes the individual feel valued or attractive, the mind may fixate on them as the source of these feelings. 

Dopamine also plays a role in obsession. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter linked to the pleasure and reward systems of the brain. Dopamine is released when doing or experiencing something enjoyable, such as interacting with a new crush. The more time spent thinking about the person, the more dopamine is released, creating a cycle of addiction. Breaking this cycle is crucial to recovery. 

How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone: Strategies to Overcome Unhealthy Attachments  

Overcoming obsessive thoughts is challenging, but the strategies below can help individuals regain emotional balance, empowering them to move forward. 

Acknowledge Your Feelings

The first step in learning how to stop obsessing over someone is acknowledging your emotions without judgment or criticism. It is okay to feel sad, hurt, or frustrated, but it is important to recognize and notice when these feelings become harmful. Journaling your thoughts or talking to a friend or therapist can help you process these emotions and work toward releasing them. 

Create Boundaries

Behaviours such as repeatedly texting them, checking their online activity, or making excuses to see them can reinforce obsession. Creating physical and emotional distance can be a key component to stopping these behaviours. Removing the constant reminders of their presence allows you to focus on your healing.

Start by limiting exposure to this person. This might involve unfollowing them on social media, avoiding places where you might run into them, or blocking their contact information. 

As a gentle reminder, boundaries are not just put in place for others, they’re also for ourselves, to hold ourselves accountable.  

Redirect Your Focus

One of the most effective ways to stop obsessive thoughts is to redirect your energy inward, focusing on self-care and compassion. 

When you fixate on the other person, consider the needs or desires driving these thoughts. Are you seeking validation? Are you trying to avoid feelings of loneliness or inadequacy? 

Once you identify the root of your obsession, work on addressing those needs in a healthier way. For example, if you crave validation, focus on self-care practices that build your confidence and self-esteem. Engaging in things you enjoy, setting goals, and spending time with loved ones can also help you shift your attention from the other person.

Practice Mindfulness 

Obsessive thoughts can be overwhelming, leading to anxiety and emotional distress. Mindfulness and grounding techniques can be powerful tools for calming the mind.

When you notice obsessive thoughts coming on, practice deep breathing exercises or engage in a mindful activity, such as yoga or meditation. Grounding techniques, like focusing on your physical surroundings, can help bring you back to the present. Practicing mindfulness can help you manage your thoughts and reduce the frequency of obsession.

Challenge Your Thoughts

Unrealistic expectations and idealized scenarios about someone can make it harder to let go. Therefore, learning how to stop obsessing over someone requires you to challenge or reframe the thoughts that fuel the fixation.

When you catch yourself fantasizing about the person or replaying memories, remind yourself of the reality of the situation. Consider if these thoughts are productive or helpful, and reframe them to promote growth. For example, instead of thinking, "If only they texted me back, everything would be better," reframe it as "My happiness is not dependent on someone else's actions." 

Focus on Your Future

Shifting focus toward the future can help individuals on their healing journey. Take time to reflect on what you want in life romantically and professionally. Setting new goals, making plans for yourself, and visualizing a fulfilling future without the other person can motivate you to take steps toward that life, leaving the obsession behind.

Seek Support

Learning how to stop obsessing over someone can be challenging, but you don't have to go through it alone. A trusted friend or therapist can offer support and guidance as you work through your emotions and implement strategies for letting go. A therapist can also help you explore the root causes of your attachment and guide you through techniques to regain control of your thoughts and emotions.

Allow Time to Heal

Obsession fixation may feel like it consumes your entire life, but as you take these steps, the intensity of those emotions will lessen. Remind yourself that learning how to stop obsessing over someone is a gradual process. Be patient and trust that overcoming unhealthy attachments is possible. Also, celebrate small victories, such as going a day without checking their social media or finding joy in your company. 

Finding Emotional Freedom 

Learning how to stop obsessing over someone is not easy, but it is possible with the right mindset and tools. By acknowledging your feelings, setting boundaries, and focusing on your well-being, you can break free from the cycle of obsession and regain your emotional independence.

The key to success is consistency and self-compassion. By taking small steps every day toward letting go, you can move forward and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships. 

Learn how to overcome romantic obsession in this article:

• How to Beat Limerence: Recognizing and Releasing Romantic Fixation

Break Free from Obsessive Thoughts with Our Therapist Collective

At OntarioTherapists.com, we provide client-centred care for all ages. Our goal is to create a safe and supportive environment where clients can learn how to stop obsessing over someone by exploring the emotional triggers and personal beliefs that contribute to unhealthy attachments.

Our psychotherapists bring diverse expertise to meet your unique needs. During our sessions, you'll learn to challenge obsessive thought patterns, develop healthier coping mechanisms, and cultivate self-compassion. 

Book a free half-hour consultation via video call or phone to learn more. Call us at 647-296-9235 or click here to book your appointment.